Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Our Sukkah





We built our first Sukkah! We decided to go with the wood option, since it seemed to be sturdier, easier and the most flexible. We had such a great time building and celebrating.
We built it over Tuesday evening, so I'm sorry the photos are so poor. It was a very east process for us, just a few pieces of lattice, a few 2 x 4's and we were all set. We trimmed our bushes to make a brush covering.
Here are some friends we had over. The only problem we had was that it was too small to have a large group come inside. We wished that we would have made it larger, that way we could have had the large table I just refinished inside.

Oh well, notes for next time...

How was your Sukkot?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Taking on a Sukkah

This year the Birthright NEXT Shabbat program is offering Shukkah grants, and I signed us up for one. My family never made a sukkah. I don't actually know one person who constructed one when I was growing up. I remember driving by temples and synagogues and seeing them, but I don't really remember having an experience when I was a child.

Fast forward to college, and I started to embrace the religiousness of Judaism. I remember the 'pop-up' sukkah that was featured in the middle of campus and I remember shaking my lulav and etrog.

When I got my first 'real' job I was still on a college campus. They constructed a sukkah in the middle of campus, and they had free pizza, so I used to head over there for my sukkah experience.

Now that I'm an adult, and don't work on a college campus, we've decided to build our own.

Last night we actually discussed the plan. Turns out that we had two completely different ideas about how to go about building one, and the purpose of building one of our own...

Plan 1: PVC pipe with some metal pipe. Putting it over our concrete pad in the back and using the walls of the garage and house as some structure

Plan 2: 2x4's and other wood- materials. Lots of screws and such...

We'll see how it all goes down. Are you building a sukkah? Anyone else out there with a NEXT Shabbat grant?

Monday, October 10, 2011

Rosh Hashana Rehash

I wanted to share a few snapshots I took just before Rosh Hashana started- these are of the table before the house filled up with guests. As a reminder, this was our first major meal at our new home. We ended up with 14 people, a great crowd.











Friday, October 7, 2011

Inner thoughts to Yom Kippur

As you sit in temple tonight over Kol Nidre and tomorrow through Yom Kippur, remember what your doing. Remember that other people don't get this opportunity. To really look into themselves and see what they did, what they didn't, and where they are. Remember that you are lucky- you are a Chosen One. **let's not discuss the intricacies of that term please**

Each time you beat your chest, take a moment to be thankful. To be gracious. To know and live in the understanding that you are here today, and that you are welcomed into the new year as a clean person. A new start to where ever you are.

Good luck- May your fast be easy, and may you all be inscribed into the book of life.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Rainy days

It's pouring here today in Los Angeles. It really brings down the day. Yes, I'm sure that those of you reading this in Seattle will say that it's barely raining here, and there is nothing to complain about. Here in LA though, people loose their minds. They forget how to drive, forget where to go, they honestly loose their minds.

However, there are glorious things about rainy weather. Fireplaces start to blaze, comfort foods abound, and cuddling on the couch is a favorite activity.

For us, this will be our first rain in our new home. We've had a few minor sprinkles before, but this will be our first major downpour. Let's hope I don't leave work today to find a small surprise puddle at home.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Days of Awe

Right now we are in the days of Awe- that magical time between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. For us, that means that we wander around to family and friends and apologize.

In theory, this is a worthwhile exercise. When I was a child, we would write long lists of friends and people we wanted to talk to. We'd wander around school feeling slightly out of place, clutching the notebook until we worked up the courage to speak to our friends.

Most of my friends weren't Jewish, so during middle school and high school the idea of Yom Kippur was foreign to my friends, and trying to apologize for nothing in particular was difficult.

Now, my family stops everyone a few minutes before we walk in for Kol Nidre and states this formulaic apology "If I did anything wrong to you, I'm sorry."

Now that I'm an adult, starting a family and coming into my own, I've learned a lot more about what Yom Kippur is, and what it's not. I'm chagrined to say that neither of the stories above really encompass the true idea behind the holiday spirit.

This year, I heard something wonderful. The Days of Awe are Jewish CPR. Through charity, prayer and repentance we can 'avert the severe decree.' Charity-being kind, between yourself and others. Prayer- internal thinking, between yourself and G-d. Repentance- internal knowledge, all inside yourself.

Now is the time to evaluate your past year, determine where you went wrong, and look to make things better. It's not about resolutions (I'll loose 10 lbs), it's about self-development. The external piece of this, the asking for forgiveness, is honestly acknowledging that you've done something wrong. This is two-fold. One part is between you and G-d; stating that you've done wrong, feeling guilt and then accepting your past as your past. The other is between you and the person you've wronged; telling G-d your sorry can't fix your worldly relationships. You need to acknowledge that you've made mistakes, and attempt to apologize or correct them with those you've wronged.

Jewish tradition dictates that you have to apologize three times. You have to give a heartfelt, honest apology to the people you've wronged three times before you can consider yourself absolved from their forgiveness.

Hopefully each person you talk to will be happy to give you their forgiveness. They will recognize your apology as the heartfelt apology that it is, they will accept you for who you are, mistakes and all. However, just because you think someone might reject your apology is no reason not to try.

So over these days of awe try to see Yom Kippur anew. To really delve into the truth of forgiveness.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

10Q

This is a great program. If you haven't joined it yet, I highly recommend that you do. Take advantage of the 10 days of Awe. Really reflect and think about your life.

http://www.doyou10q.com/about

I'll be back on Monday with pictures- sorry it's taken so long, but I had some trouble loading them....

Friday, September 30, 2011

Rosh Hashana Menu

With Rosh Hashana dinner and day one over, I thought I would share the menu we made. Our family does a mix of potluck/menu planning that asks everyone to contribute something. Sometimes I like it, but generally I find it annoying not to know what's coming. This year, however, it worked out well.

We had a meat meal, so no milk until we get to dessert.

Here is our menu. I will share links to recipes where I can:

Appetizers:
1. Veggie dip with Hummus. This was brought by our the cousins that live the closet. Of course I had them bring it because I thought they would be early, alas, they were the last to arrive.
2. Apples with honey, peanut butter, or cinnamon sugar. This was a delight. It fulfilled the custom of a sweet new year, and we all really enjoyed them together.

First Course:
Fish Stew: This was a new one for my family. Usually we have gefilte fish, but I thought that fish stew would be a new take on the fish tradition. It went over well, and nearly everyone enjoyed it, even the kids.

Main Course:
Brisket: I made my brisket the traditional way- Heinz Chili Sauce, Lipton Onion Soup mix. Some baby potatoes and carrots topped it off. 12 hours in the crock pot
Salad: A basic salad brought by family. A nice green addition
Pomegranate Beet Salad: This was a hit! Such a success! It turned my hands red, and also my foot, but totally worth it.
Tzimmis: A wonderful side dish with apricots, potatoes, onions, oranges. Such a sweet addition. I had my mother make it, and I definitely need her recipe.

Dessert:
Honey Chocolate Cake: This cake is AMAZING! Everyone loves it. Topped with dark chocolate. It doesn't have milk, if you use the right chocolate.
Apple Strudel: Also amazing! Such a great dish, totally a hit. And very easy to make.

Apparently I really like the LA times recipe section! Almost ALL of them are from that newspaper.

I'll share pictures of the table setting, we lit it with candles and had some white roses. It was quite a special evening.

How was your meal? What did you cook?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The $$$ for High Holidays

One of the things Matt and I have struggled with has been the costs associated with being a religious family. There are two parts to this discussion; the first being the actual dollars spent, which I would argue are spent being any religion, be it Muslim, Lutheran, Pagan or otherwise; the second is the way in which you spend those dollars.


Let's take the first cost of being Jewish. There are lots of different articles, etc. that show and quantify the dollars spent on different levels of being jewish. For us, at this time, it's a non-issue to spend money on a lot of the things these articles mention. And, like I mention above, I'd argue that spending on these types of expenses would be the same regardless of religion. We are not Orthodox, so we don't do the Kosher foods. However, we all buy special foods for holidays. Briskets, Hams for Christmas and Easter, etc. Hosting those holidays are expensive as well. Then there are the mezuzahs, etc. which are similar to those needs in other religions. This type of spending seems to be easily endured in our home.


The second cost of living jewishly is a look at how you spend those dollars. Something most people don't consider is the difference between how Jews contribute to a synagogue, and how Christians do. Please understand, I am not claiming to be speaking for all. What is offered here is my opinion, my understanding and what happens in my family. For Matthew, the idea that Jews pay a flat fee that is stated to be a membership cost to join a temple is not ony foreign, but disquieting. In his understanding, a religious organization should be funded by voluntary support from it's members. Other Christian families he knows give a portion of their salary- they tythe or they donate. He doesn't understand the idea of a specific, defined cost for membership.


Not only that, but the costs of membership are high. Most temples have a base cost, extra for a building fund, extra for children's activities, etc. Most have three categories, couples, singles, and seniors. There are few who take into account a young couple without financial ability.


Normally, temples don't generally care about whether the people who are at their services are members. No one is checking at the door. I can't think of a single temple that would turn you away on a Friday night or a Tuesday morning. However, we are in the season where temple memberships get turned into high holy day service tickets.


For us, as a young couple with a new mortgage who haven't figured out their community, we are forced to buy high holy day tickets. Or, we do what we did last year and claim student status...


This has been the largest issue for us this year relating to the holidays. The high cost of doing the right thing. Costs can be as cheap as $30-40 per ticket for all services, or as expensive as $200 plus. That cost just covers our being able to walk in the door, nothing further. That's a hard bullet to bite, and an even harder one for me to explain to my non-Jewish husband. Personally, I've never had to think about where I was going for holidays, now that we do, it's so many more questions than I ever thought possible.

For those of you without plans, here are a few free ways to go to some services:
Chabad.org. For us, this doesn't work, because they seperate men from women, but it's a great option. They do have family programs, where they do not seperate the sexes.

Jewlicious: This is a totally free, and definitely alternative. Could be the right boat for you.

Hillels: Technically for the students on campus, but if you are young enough, or really strapped, head here.

Lastly, I can't imagine a single temple that would really turn you down. Just be respectful, explain your circumstances, and if you can, send in some money after the fact.

Tomorrow- I'll share the menu we're preparing.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Selecting a service

In year's past we've joined my parents in their synagogue for services at the High Holy Days. This year, as Matt and I start to establish our religious selves, we've decided we need to reach out on our own.

Last year we spent Rosh Hashana with my parents, and Yom Kippur at a temple around the corner. We didn't purchase tickets, we didn't plan ahead, and though it worked, it left me feeling slightly un-connected.

I felt un-connected because I didn't know anyone. We used our student ID's to get in to the service, and while not wholly unethical, it didn't feel right to not approach the situation as a married young couple. While we both felt good at Rosh Hashana, we were with my father. He's a lovely man, but it's hard to have your own religious identity when tradition and manners dictate you accept the thoughts, traditions and ideas of your father/father-in-law.

Over Yom Kippur, we decided we liked the location. Matt said he 'felt G-d', however, they didn't supply books, so we were also lost having not brought our own.

This year, we're trying to be proactive but it's hard.

Things we're considering as we select our services:


  1. COST: more on this later


  2. NO SPLIT SEATING: Matthew feels strongly that he should be sitting next to me, and it's a request I can't deny. While I understand and respect a Mechitza it's not something he's comfortable with. He doesn't have any other family to sit with, and not growing up understanding, hearing or reading hebrew he doesn't want to loose the spirituality of the service because he's struggling to understand it.


  3. LOCATION: We're hoping to use this as an opportunity to get a broader feel for a community. While I strongly believe that Friday night or Saturday services are the times to really get to know a community, I can't deny that the holidays really show you what type of community your in.


  4. TRADITION: We're looking for a relatively traditional service. Here in LA we are fortunate enough to have lots of options. We could do yoga, a singing circle, etc. However, these options are not exactly where we are headed.
I'm not sure where we'll end up. I'll let you know as we celebrate.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Rosh Hashana

The Holiday of Rosh Hashana is upon us. In previous years Matthew and I have joined my parents for services at their temple. We've gone to someone else's house for dinner and stayed the night at my parents. This year, in honor of our new home, we will host our first family holiday meal.

In past years, even before Matthew and I were married we hosted holidays. We have an annual Lakte vodka party, we've hosted 2nd night Passover for almost 5 years. But never have we had all the family gathered at a place that we consider our home.

In trying to establish our own Jewish Identity we were told by our Rabbi during pre-marital counseling that we should look for things to call our own. We should discuss the meanings of traditions and decide what we valued.

Here, this year, for the first time, in our new home we will put our ideas against the traditions of my larger family's.

I certainly hope that we'll be successful in making the holiday feel like it's ours.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

To fill a void

It's been a year since Matthew and I married. In the months and years leading up to our marriage, I searched and scoured the Internet, looking for someone who I could connect with.

I'm an avid blog reader. I love to learn about new things and engage with people. Each time I would find a blog I loved, I would discover just as quickly that these writers didn't have much in common with me.

Where are the Jewish women? Where are the Jewish blogs?

So, here I am. A Jewish woman, married to a non-Jew. I say Non-Jew, because Matthew wasn't really raised in a religion. He has some very religious Christian family, he has some Catholic family, and he has a lot of non-denominational, lets celebrate Christmas and Easter family.

When we decided to get married, we also decided to raise a Jewish family. We had a Jewish wedding, complete with Ketubah and wine and the hora.

However, there are still lots of questions. What does it really mean to be an interfaith couple? TO be newlyweds and struggling with these issues. What will it become, and how will it change, as we grow together, learn together, eventually have children together.

I am here to start a conversation. Between real women, with real families, struggling with these real questions. I hope you join in.