Our Sukkah

We built our first Sukkah! We decided to go with the wood option, since it seemed to be sturdier, easier and the most flexible. We had such a great time building and celebrating.

We built it over Tuesday evening, so I'm sorry the photos are so poor. It was a very east process for us, just a few pieces of lattice, a few 2 x 4's and we were all set. We trimmed our bushes to make a brush covering.
Here are some friends we had over. The only problem we had was that it was too small to have a large group come inside. We wished that we would have made it larger, that way we could have had the large table I just refinished inside.

Oh well, notes for next time...

How was your Sukkot?

The $$$ for High Holidays

One of the things Matt and I have struggled with has been the costs associated with being a religious family. There are two parts to this discussion; the first being the actual dollars spent, which I would argue are spent being any religion, be it Muslim, Lutheran, Pagan or otherwise; the second is the way in which you spend those dollars.


Let's take the first cost of being Jewish. There are lots of different articles, etc. that show and quantify the dollars spent on different levels of being jewish. For us, at this time, it's a non-issue to spend money on a lot of the things these articles mention. And, like I mention above, I'd argue that spending on these types of expenses would be the same regardless of religion. We are not Orthodox, so we don't do the Kosher foods. However, we all buy special foods for holidays. Briskets, Hams for Christmas and Easter, etc. Hosting those holidays are expensive as well. Then there are the mezuzahs, etc. which are similar to those needs in other religions. This type of spending seems to be easily endured in our home.


The second cost of living jewishly is a look at how you spend those dollars. Something most people don't consider is the difference between how Jews contribute to a synagogue, and how Christians do. Please understand, I am not claiming to be speaking for all. What is offered here is my opinion, my understanding and what happens in my family. For Matthew, the idea that Jews pay a flat fee that is stated to be a membership cost to join a temple is not ony foreign, but disquieting. In his understanding, a religious organization should be funded by voluntary support from it's members. Other Christian families he knows give a portion of their salary- they tythe or they donate. He doesn't understand the idea of a specific, defined cost for membership.


Not only that, but the costs of membership are high. Most temples have a base cost, extra for a building fund, extra for children's activities, etc. Most have three categories, couples, singles, and seniors. There are few who take into account a young couple without financial ability.


Normally, temples don't generally care about whether the people who are at their services are members. No one is checking at the door. I can't think of a single temple that would turn you away on a Friday night or a Tuesday morning. However, we are in the season where temple memberships get turned into high holy day service tickets.


For us, as a young couple with a new mortgage who haven't figured out their community, we are forced to buy high holy day tickets. Or, we do what we did last year and claim student status...


This has been the largest issue for us this year relating to the holidays. The high cost of doing the right thing. Costs can be as cheap as $30-40 per ticket for all services, or as expensive as $200 plus. That cost just covers our being able to walk in the door, nothing further. That's a hard bullet to bite, and an even harder one for me to explain to my non-Jewish husband. Personally, I've never had to think about where I was going for holidays, now that we do, it's so many more questions than I ever thought possible.

For those of you without plans, here are a few free ways to go to some services:
Chabad.org. For us, this doesn't work, because they seperate men from women, but it's a great option. They do have family programs, where they do not seperate the sexes.

Jewlicious: This is a totally free, and definitely alternative. Could be the right boat for you.

Hillels: Technically for the students on campus, but if you are young enough, or really strapped, head here.

Lastly, I can't imagine a single temple that would really turn you down. Just be respectful, explain your circumstances, and if you can, send in some money after the fact.

Tomorrow- I'll share the menu we're preparing.

Selecting a service

In year's past we've joined my parents in their synagogue for services at the High Holy Days. This year, as Matt and I start to establish our religious selves, we've decided we need to reach out on our own.

Last year we spent Rosh Hashana with my parents, and Yom Kippur at a temple around the corner. We didn't purchase tickets, we didn't plan ahead, and though it worked, it left me feeling slightly un-connected.

I felt un-connected because I didn't know anyone. We used our student ID's to get in to the service, and while not wholly unethical, it didn't feel right to not approach the situation as a married young couple. While we both felt good at Rosh Hashana, we were with my father. He's a lovely man, but it's hard to have your own religious identity when tradition and manners dictate you accept the thoughts, traditions and ideas of your father/father-in-law.

Over Yom Kippur, we decided we liked the location. Matt said he 'felt G-d', however, they didn't supply books, so we were also lost having not brought our own.

This year, we're trying to be proactive but it's hard.

Things we're considering as we select our services:

1. COST: more on this later



2. NO SPLIT SEATING: Matthew feels strongly that he should be sitting next to me, and it's a request I can't deny. While I understand and respect a Mechitza it's not something he's comfortable with. He doesn't have any other family to sit with, and not growing up understanding, hearing or reading hebrew he doesn't want to loose the spirituality of the service because he's struggling to understand it.



3. LOCATION: We're hoping to use this as an opportunity to get a broader feel for a community. While I strongly believe that Friday night or Saturday services are the times to really get to know a community, I can't deny that the holidays really show you what type of community your in.



4. TRADITION: We're looking for a relatively traditional service. Here in LA we are fortunate enough to have lots of options. We could do yoga, a singing circle, etc. However, these options are not exactly where we are headed.

I'm not sure where we'll end up. I'll let you know as we celebrate.

Rosh Hashana

The Holiday of Rosh Hashana is upon us. In previous years Matthew and I have joined my parents for services at their temple. We've gone to someone else's house for dinner and stayed the night at my parents. This year, in honor of our new home, we will host our first family holiday meal.

In past years, even before Matthew and I were married we hosted holidays. We have an annual Lakte vodka party, we've hosted 2nd night Passover for almost 5 years. But never have we had all the family gathered at a place that we consider our home.

In trying to establish our own Jewish Identity we were told by our Rabbi during pre-marital counseling that we should look for things to call our own. We should discuss the meanings of traditions and decide what we valued.

Here, this year, for the first time, in our new home we will put our ideas against the traditions of my larger family's.

I certainly hope that we'll be successful in making the holiday feel like it's ours.