The $$$ for High Holidays

One of the things Matt and I have struggled with has been the costs associated with being a religious family. There are two parts to this discussion; the first being the actual dollars spent, which I would argue are spent being any religion, be it Muslim, Lutheran, Pagan or otherwise; the second is the way in which you spend those dollars.


Let's take the first cost of being Jewish. There are lots of different articles, etc. that show and quantify the dollars spent on different levels of being jewish. For us, at this time, it's a non-issue to spend money on a lot of the things these articles mention. And, like I mention above, I'd argue that spending on these types of expenses would be the same regardless of religion. We are not Orthodox, so we don't do the Kosher foods. However, we all buy special foods for holidays. Briskets, Hams for Christmas and Easter, etc. Hosting those holidays are expensive as well. Then there are the mezuzahs, etc. which are similar to those needs in other religions. This type of spending seems to be easily endured in our home.


The second cost of living jewishly is a look at how you spend those dollars. Something most people don't consider is the difference between how Jews contribute to a synagogue, and how Christians do. Please understand, I am not claiming to be speaking for all. What is offered here is my opinion, my understanding and what happens in my family. For Matthew, the idea that Jews pay a flat fee that is stated to be a membership cost to join a temple is not ony foreign, but disquieting. In his understanding, a religious organization should be funded by voluntary support from it's members. Other Christian families he knows give a portion of their salary- they tythe or they donate. He doesn't understand the idea of a specific, defined cost for membership.


Not only that, but the costs of membership are high. Most temples have a base cost, extra for a building fund, extra for children's activities, etc. Most have three categories, couples, singles, and seniors. There are few who take into account a young couple without financial ability.


Normally, temples don't generally care about whether the people who are at their services are members. No one is checking at the door. I can't think of a single temple that would turn you away on a Friday night or a Tuesday morning. However, we are in the season where temple memberships get turned into high holy day service tickets.


For us, as a young couple with a new mortgage who haven't figured out their community, we are forced to buy high holy day tickets. Or, we do what we did last year and claim student status...


This has been the largest issue for us this year relating to the holidays. The high cost of doing the right thing. Costs can be as cheap as $30-40 per ticket for all services, or as expensive as $200 plus. That cost just covers our being able to walk in the door, nothing further. That's a hard bullet to bite, and an even harder one for me to explain to my non-Jewish husband. Personally, I've never had to think about where I was going for holidays, now that we do, it's so many more questions than I ever thought possible.

For those of you without plans, here are a few free ways to go to some services:
Chabad.org. For us, this doesn't work, because they seperate men from women, but it's a great option. They do have family programs, where they do not seperate the sexes.

Jewlicious: This is a totally free, and definitely alternative. Could be the right boat for you.

Hillels: Technically for the students on campus, but if you are young enough, or really strapped, head here.

Lastly, I can't imagine a single temple that would really turn you down. Just be respectful, explain your circumstances, and if you can, send in some money after the fact.

Tomorrow- I'll share the menu we're preparing.