Selecting a service

In year's past we've joined my parents in their synagogue for services at the High Holy Days. This year, as Matt and I start to establish our religious selves, we've decided we need to reach out on our own.

Last year we spent Rosh Hashana with my parents, and Yom Kippur at a temple around the corner. We didn't purchase tickets, we didn't plan ahead, and though it worked, it left me feeling slightly un-connected.

I felt un-connected because I didn't know anyone. We used our student ID's to get in to the service, and while not wholly unethical, it didn't feel right to not approach the situation as a married young couple. While we both felt good at Rosh Hashana, we were with my father. He's a lovely man, but it's hard to have your own religious identity when tradition and manners dictate you accept the thoughts, traditions and ideas of your father/father-in-law.

Over Yom Kippur, we decided we liked the location. Matt said he 'felt G-d', however, they didn't supply books, so we were also lost having not brought our own.

This year, we're trying to be proactive but it's hard.

Things we're considering as we select our services:

1. COST: more on this later



2. NO SPLIT SEATING: Matthew feels strongly that he should be sitting next to me, and it's a request I can't deny. While I understand and respect a Mechitza it's not something he's comfortable with. He doesn't have any other family to sit with, and not growing up understanding, hearing or reading hebrew he doesn't want to loose the spirituality of the service because he's struggling to understand it.



3. LOCATION: We're hoping to use this as an opportunity to get a broader feel for a community. While I strongly believe that Friday night or Saturday services are the times to really get to know a community, I can't deny that the holidays really show you what type of community your in.



4. TRADITION: We're looking for a relatively traditional service. Here in LA we are fortunate enough to have lots of options. We could do yoga, a singing circle, etc. However, these options are not exactly where we are headed.

I'm not sure where we'll end up. I'll let you know as we celebrate.